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Pregnancy sex. It is so not like regular sex for many reasons. Here are 10 realities of attempting (I use that word, because sometimes, ugh, giving up is way easier) intimacy while you are also building a human:
You will have to pee every 3 minutes.
Or every 3 seconds, depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy. In either case, these interruptions make you feel oh-so-sexy, and so much less motivated to keep things going.
There are 14 areas of your body you won't want to have touched.
These areas include, but are not limited to your boobs (swollen, not sexual at the moment, just keep off), your tummy (similarly swollen, and not sexual), hips (yeah, same), thighs (you get the point), etc.
The rocking motion will make you want to puke if you're in your first trimester.
So basically you'll just want to get sex over with ASAP. Maybe this one isn't so different from regular sex. Hmm...
The rocking motion causes heartburn when you're in the second or third trimester.
And chewing Tums mid-act is so hot...
You will be more interested in feeling your baby move than getting it on with your partner.
Your partner will NOT be more interested in feeling the baby move than getting it on.
He'll be all, "Yeah, cool. I'm focused on something else right now."
You will think about how this act put you in this situation to begin with, and wonder what the point is now.
Because again, you are either ready to puke or experiencing severe acid reflux. And you are probably tired of pushing your partner's hand away from your many restricted zones.
No matter how many times you are told pregnancy sex won't hurt the baby, you will still worry about it at least once during, and once after.
Why is this still a thing? I don't know, but even after every doctor, website and friend assures you pregnancy sex is okay, you will never feel 100 percent sure it's true.
You will be unable to find a comfortable position.
Or one that doesn't make you feel like a blubbery whale with giant, floppy boobs.
Just about the time you finally relax and accept your pregnant body, the act will be over.
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.