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Istanbul Parenting Class Development Specialist Psychologist Sinem Olcay is with you in the third chapter of the article about discipline.
Defne, 2.5, has dinner with her parents and four guests. He began to sing in a loud enough voice to prevent the adults from speaking. His mother smiles at Defne, distracts him from the guests, and sings with Defne for a few minutes. When her mother starts talking to the guests, Defne shouts angrily 'Sing with me'. His mother returns to sing with Defne. His father says, 'Don't yell a lot,' but he listens to Defne. Now everyone at the table is interested in Laurel. This continues for half an hour. Whenever her parents return to talk to the guests, Defne shouts, and every time Defne protests, her mother starts singing with her again. Eventually, the guests get off the table with a headache.
What's wrong with this scene? Shouldn't adults show understanding to a child who wants attention? Is it irrational that guests want to chat in a 2-year-old?
This scene was actually a great opportunity to teach Defne that everyone had their turn and that they couldn't constantly engage others' interest just because she wanted to. If Defne's parents told Defne that she should lower her voice in her first loud scream because her screaming exhausted everyone, and for a few minutes
If he had returned to chatting with guests after singing along with Defne, it would have taught him that he was one of the participants, not the tyrant of social interaction. Against Defne's objection, her parents should have made it clear that they were 'listening to her, but now it's next.' Then it was Defne's turn again. In case Defne's objections increased, it would be appropriate for her parents to take Defne to her room and give her a private conversation about allowing other people to talk to her. After this conversation, he could be asked if he was ready to go back to dinner.
Most mothers have mastered the ability to divide their interest in social settings - one eye one eye to respond to the child and the other ear the other eye to participate in social interaction. This is one of the most strenuous aspects of having a child aged 1-3 years. It is tiring for the mother to divide her attention in two, but it is more than necessary for children to learn to be a participant, not a tyrant of the social environment.