How ready are you to be a parent?

How ready are you to be a parent?

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These negative feelings can be experienced by both men and women, albeit in different ways. A man who doesn't feel ready to be a father, doesn't see the skills he needs to be a father and has negative expectations about the changes that the baby will bring to life will experience many negative emotions. On the other hand, women; With the effect of hormonal, physical and psychological changes, she may feel unhappy, weak, unsuccessful and inadequate. Of course, every woman has some basic instincts about being a mother. Thanks to these, the mother naturally has the ability to handle the pregnancy and take care of her offspring after birth. However, on the one hand the excitement of bringing a child into the world, on the one hand hormonal changes and physiological difficulties in pregnancy, on the other hand concerns about the future and the bask pressure to be the best olduğ caused by modern life can undermine women's natural skills. For this reason, it is known that many women experience feelings of insufficiency starting with pregnancy and continuing during the first months of motherhood. This condition sometimes lasts longer and is accompanied by emotional disorders such as Sonrası Postpartum Sorrow ”and“ Postpartum Depression ”.How do concerns about the baby affect the relationship?Especially in couples expecting their first baby, both men and women; Fears that their individual lives will not be the same as before, expectations that the relationship with the spouse will change in many ways negatively and concerns about the baby. These negativities experienced by individuals will surely be reflected in the relationship. At this point, the attitude of individuals is of great importance. A man who has the right and sufficient information about the mental state of the new mother can give the necessary support to his wife and protect the relationship from many dangers of this period. Feeling the support of his wife's mood is positively affected and it is possible to make joint efforts for the relationship. Thus, the couple will maintain their relationship from the negative vicious circle in which many pairs fall.One of the most important threats: the mother's sense of inadequacyIn fact, every mother has a sense of inadequacy. This is very normal for the prospective or new mother and is expected to turn into a sense of competence in a healthy process. Many mothers, especially those who gave birth to their first baby, think that their skills regarding the newborn baby are insufficient. It is expected that this idea of ​​the mother, with the support she receives from her relatives and especially her husband, will turn into a feeling of “I can” and ”sufficiency ları. At this point, the biggest task falls to the wife. Even though she is in the chaos of being a father, she should support her husband as much as she can and give a “confirmation message bebek on baby-related issues. To the wife of the man in good faith; Critical feedback such as düş you will drop the child ”, üş you will catch the child”, “what form do you hold” will have a very negative impact on his mood. The man should also create realistic expectations about his wife. The mother is also a human being; individual needs such as being alone, listening to head, being with friends, having fun and these needs should be met. Male; support the spouse in order to preserve certain areas of life before the baby and to maintain the activities and relationships in which she feels well. To do this, the baby should share the duties and responsibilities. It will increase the feelings of inadequacy of the male spouse who does not have this point of view and going away from the relationship will be inevitable.Recommendations for couples experiencing baby anxiety… • Having good communication: Good communication should include openness and coping with conflicts. Good communication is the most important problem-solving instrument of the couple in pregnancy and in the case of a new baby, as well as in many troublesome situations • Having knowledge about pregnancy and confinement: Firstly, confinement is a difficult life process. Especially in the first baby, this process can be both physically and emotionally challenging for the mother. In this period, the man who is with his wife with awareness should share the responsibilities of the baby as much as possible. Also; a spouse who has realistic expectations about the possible emotional sensitivity of the mother helps a lot to get through this process: • Preparing the spouses' division of labor, duties and responsibilities (providing a sense of justice): Especially after the first baby, the relationship of many couples is negatively affected. Couples who are aware of this threat and take precautionary measures; they either have no troubles or recover in a short time. Especially when housework and the responsibilities of the baby are too much for women, the distance between the couple is opened and a sense of injustice can develop. This is an important obstacle for a relationship • To devote time to individuality: The mother, whose life has changed so much during the last period of pregnancy and after the baby is born, will certainly have difficulties in adapting to this situation. The less affected the life of the mother (and father), the better the individual pleasure activities can be maintained • Sparing time as a couple: Especially after the baby is born, it does not neglect the relationship between them, spends time with each other and tries to keep the quality of the time spent alone. • Being aware that maternal and paternity matures in different processes: The feeling of being a father matures long after the feeling of motherhood. Because the mother expects the mother to experience the feeling of motherhood intensively while carrying the baby in her belly for 9 months, and after the baby is born, she adopts motherhood by giving milk and spending more time with her. The father, on the other hand, can develop a relationship that starts with a limited association with the newborn baby as the baby grows. Knowing this fact by both parents will make it easier for parents to understand each other • Have realistic expectations and speak clearly with the spouse (or whoever is expected): Unrealistic expectations will disappoint. They should analyze whether their expectations are realistic as they are familiar with them and change their unrealistic expectations. In addition, it is extremely wrong and needs to be changed to expect to be understood without speaking or to be unwillingly met. (Değiştirmek It doesn't matter when I want it. I should do what I want without asking / say it. Değiştirmek) Making joint decisions as a couple on root families and putting limits together when necessary: ​​The couple should talk in advance about the possible attitudes of the root families towards the new born baby. concerns. Joint decisions should be taken at this stage and then implemented consistently. However, it is necessary to provide root families with an area of ​​freedom in their bilateral relations with the baby / child and not to intervene in this area.

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